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lyrics

I'm mad that when I said that I could no longer be friends with you, you let me, instead of fighting for our friendship.

I'm mad that when I said that you moved on so fast, you said, “well, it's not like it was the next day."

I'm mad when you don't answer questions with a straight answer. When I asked if you had feelings for each other you said a bunch of words about exploring, blah, blah, blah…rather than just saying yes.

I'm mad that you lied to me when I asked what you two were talking about and she was telling you she had feelings for you.

I'm mad that when I asked if you two slept in the same bed you asked me if she and I had slept in the same bed as if that was AT ALL the same.

I'm mad that you don't understand why our friends have a problem with the two of you. Most of our friends only know us as a couple, so this is a big change for everyone. And everyone can see how upset I am and that I'm not myself so obviously it affects them.

I'm mad because you know that I need reassurance but you still don't give it to me. I want you to tell me that I'm important to you and that you love me because otherwise I don't know.

And I feel like I'm always telling you how awesome I think you are and how special you are to me, because I feel it, so why wouldn't I say it? I hate all this "why can't you just trust it?” business. Why can't you just say it?!!?

I'm mad that you made me feel really bad for you when you said that you felt so alone in all this and you had no one to talk to, but then you made no effort to reach out to anyone…so either you can't feel that alone, or you just don't care about this enough.

I'm mad that you think that she isn't doing anything wrong, when she's devastating me, and you're supposed to care about me.

I'm mad that when I asked if you two would maybe live together now you said no because I wouldn't like that. I thought that was unfair, because how I feel about something has never stopped you from doing anything else.

I'm mad that you told me you wanted to live together with me when you didn’t.

I'm mad that you never confided in me that you were having doubts about our relationship.

credits

from Proxemic Studies: Volume I, released February 8, 2020
Laura Swankey - voice
Emily Denison - trumpet
Mike McCormick - electric guitar
Knut Kvifte Nesheim - drum kit

All compositions © 2019 Mike McCormick (SOCAN/TONO)
Recorded by Jeremy Darby and Julian Decorte at the Canterbury Music Company, Toronto
Mixed and mastered by Jean Martin at The Farm
Produced by Jean Martin and Mike McCormick
Graphic design by Yesim Tosuner of Backyard Design

This recording was made possible through the assistance of the Canada Council for the Arts.

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Mike McCormick Oslo, Norway

Mike McCormick is an artist and programmer passionate about exploring intimate moments. Often combining custom algorithms with human performers and ultra-personal material, his work looks at life though a voyeuristic lens to examine the ecstatic, the fragile, and the banal. He grew up in Canada’s subarctic, lived nomadically for a decade, and has been based in Oslo since 2017. ... more

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